Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Learning to Live the Dream

Hey Guys!
Thanks so much for stopping in! I really appreciate it! I am currently taking a Preparation for Eternal Marriage class at BYU-Idaho. As a final project, I am required to compile articles on marriage, notes on things we've discussed in class, and my own thoughts. I've decided to put it in a blog so that I can get the comments by people who have actually had experience in this area. I would really appreciate comments from you guys. What you agree with, what you don't, what you have found works for you, absolutely anything!
Our "text book" for this class is a book called "One Flesh One Heart" by Dr. Carlfred Broderick. In our reading last night, I found a quote that really struck home with me: "Love is so fundamental a gospel principle that it is almost embarrassing to mention it. It is the single identifying quality of those who love the Lord and serve him- they love one another. (John 13:35.) My only contribution is to point out that this rule applies to the members of Christ's church even if they happen to be married to each other."
In this chapter it talked about controlling your anger. This is becoming a bigger and bigger problem in today's society because it is becoming so easy to justify it. "I'm Irish/ I have red hair/ I was provoked." There are thousands of ways to justify it, but does that make it right? It has been proven those that squash their anger instead of venting it are angry less. But everybody gets angry at times. So how do you handle it? What do you do when your spouse does those little things that bother you? How do you keep from exploding on your spouse without venting to your friends? Any advise?


  1. First of all...Bill said you stole the blog title from him! LOL! You've gotta always put your spouse as a priority, and with comes the common decency to talk out frustrastions or move past them by understanding where your partner is coming from. Bill and I always speak of what is bugging us, but it is done in a way that isn't going to bring out defensiveness. Like "Babe, you are grumpy and driving me crazy today!" (Spoken kind of light-heartedly)He responds..."I know, it was a rough day. I will try to let it go." Or we joke about it and move on. If there is ever REAL conflict (which is not very often in our case) we usually just take a break from each other for a few days. Meaning, we don't really spend a lot of time together till we've cleared our heads and gotten over it. Hope that helps:) We also have never spent a night apart. No matter what is going on, we still enjoy crawling into bed and squeezing each other at the end of a long and difficult day.

  2. =) cee cee once told me to "fight naked". great advice! not that we literally do...but, it's a great though! i mean, think about it: how could one stay angry or truly fight with one another if you were standing in the buff? =) its playful advice. but has good meaning. fight honestly with one another, remember the other one is vulnerable too. remember that you should treat him the way you want him to treat you. if you're fighting in this honest way, your emotions are "naked" and with this comes quick resolution. especially when two people love one another. i agree with ceecee, put his feelings before your own. in doing so, all of YOUR needs will be met! it's magical =)

    another food for thought: Make Christ the center of your marriage. Model your love for one another after the way Christ loves YOU! Unconditionally. And that's the hard part. With every relationship, it's great practice to learn to love without condition. but...love one another as Christ has loved us! =)

    And, Micah and I NEVER "vent" to any outside source. =) It keeps us both feeling safe and secure in our disputes =) sometimes, we'll email one another when we have things to say, but are too heated to verbally communicate. it works, especially cause now we have 2 sets of little ears ALWAYS listening to us. So, when we can't bring ourselves to calmly speak...we email =) and it's a venting session in itself. and no outsourcing needed =) venting to others leads to one major problem. YOU can unconditionally love him...but, can your friends? can your family? can anyone that you share the negative side with? its harder for others to forgive and forget. so...keep your disputes private =)

    love love love you! talk soon. xo-lynnie

  3. *spelling correction: thought. in first paragraph! =)