Thursday, November 5, 2009

"We Carry On"

Hey Guys!
Well, I have no idea what happened, but I somehow coincidently deleted my last posts and all of the comments. I have no idea how it happened and have not yet found a way to get it back. I really appreciated those of you who commented and I am so sorry that your comments have been deleted, it was an accident. It's a huge bummer but I suppose we carry on. Which I suppose is fitting since today's topic is trials and suffering. This subject is not specific to married couples, but it is not something that goes away once you get married. Everyone has trials of different kinds. And for some people, that is marrying someone who turns out to be not what they expected. A girl in my class asked today: "Does this mean that some people are foreordained to marry bad people?" I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this. I do know that a woman I love and admire very much married someone that I believe to be a seriously disturbed man. That marriage caused many many trials for her. It was a difficult time for everyone involved-and I wish that those I love did not have to suffer. But I know that we have trials for a reason. I am extremely grateful for every trial I have had in my life. My trials have taught me so much and I feel closest to God while in the midst of a trial. So, are we foreordained to marry the wrong person, or is it all in the decisions we make? I don't know. And there are many times that I wish I could have a peak in to my future and know things like: if I will get married, when I will get married, the type of marriage I will have, the trials I will have. I know that I can't, and I know that my Heavenly Father knows me bes and he knows the plan better than I do. So in the mean time, I'm just doing the things that I know that I'm supposed to and waiting to see what happens.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. What do you think?


  1. I don't think you are foreordained to marry a "bad" person. We all have our choices to make and our agency that lets us! Life's about choices and it's important that you make good ones.
    I believe that the choices in your life will lead you to your future spouse. If you are making right and good choices, you will be blessed with a woderful spouse. If you are making less than good choices (or BAD choices!) they too will lead you to our spouse. Maybe one who is not as healthy for you as another would be.
    I believe you can make ANY marriage work as long as both of you are trying your best, putting your spouses needs before your own and growing together in the gospel. Therefore, I believe you can marry just about anyone and be happy. I don't believe in foreordained spouses; or at least not for me. YOU may very well have someone out there who is MEANT for you. The choices you make, may or may not, lead you to him.
    My husband and I met while neither of us were making good choices. But we've been married almost 10 years now, have beautiful children together and literally fall more in love with each other every day. We didn't start our life "right" per say, but we have committed ourselves to making it work and we are happy. I'm grateful for him and the spiritual growth I have had married to him. I couldn't ask for a better guy to be with for eternity. He's turned out to be PERFECT for me!!!

  2. Something I have learned in our marriage is that there are always things that aren't quite what we expected them to be in marriage. That goes for the good and the bad. Goodness knows there are moments when our spouses make us think, "who are you??" but the thing that I find helps me the most in those instances are to think back to things that are way beyond what I expected or ever dreamed of them being in our marriage. You know the primary song, "hum your favorite hymn"? I think it's the same principle. When you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about your spouse, you have to consiously make the decision to think about the good things. It works every time :)

  3. well, little sweet mary...i know that you and i come from different backgrounds. and im not familiar with the terminology of foreordained marriage. i guess that means i don't necessarily believe there is such a thing as foreordained marriage. i believe that when you love Christ with your entire heart, and follow the Word of God, and seek HIM, that HE will always provide for you in the very best ways for you and your life. I believe that in choosing a spouse, you must be choose one with similar beliefs so that you can grow spiritually together. Otherwise, without spiritual growth, like courtney talked about, the marriage is more or less a dead tree branch. Being equally yoked is the most important thing in choosing your spouse. Without common beliefs and without common understanding, your paths will separate. Walking hand in hand, down the road of life is key to surviving the hardships in any marriage. The hand in hand part in my opinion stems from being grounded and strong in your love for Heavenly Father and your desire as a couple to always grow spiritually together. Mary, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. And find a man who does the same. Marriage is a journey and a fun one at that! I'm excited to meet your handsome prince one day!

    One more thought: I believe there isn't "one perfect person for everyone". i believe marriage is a daily choice. To wake up and CHOOSE to love that person with your entire being. even when they piss you off =) in doing this, you WILL have your "perfect person". because your marriage will be blessed by the love you put into one another. make sense? im a rambler... =) love you. xo